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Conceived on a Concorde flight to Bahrain and born not long after. Married into money at an early age and briefly tasted high life but was not favoured by divorce settlement (still embittered). Put myself through college tap-dancing. Moved to US to fulfil dream of winning an award (any award) – eventually won award for slowest skier (v. proud).  Fell foul of strict incest laws in Utah (had married 34th cousin, 5 times removed) so fled by sea to Zanzibar. Worked as stablehand on an Alpaca farm. Retired to the leafy backwoods of Perth, attracted by electromagnetic emanations of the local community radio.

How did you become involved with the station?

Well, we discovered a shared interest in music and just sort of hit it off, I suppose.

If stuck on Mars, what five albums could you not go without?

  • Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of War of the Worlds (Spanish language version – English one is rubbish)
  • Total Recall OST by Jerry Goldsmith
  • No New York (especially B1-B4)
  • Reach for the Stars by Will.i.am
  • Ziggy Stardust

What is the best thing about being involved with the station?

In a word: security. No matter where I am, at any time of the day or night, it’ll be there for me to turn to.

What is the strangest thing that has happened to you at RTRFM?

I found a severed human ear in Studio B once. I took it to the police and probably should have left it to them but I was excited about the possibility of discovering a dark side to this otherwise sleepy town. I discovered it alright. Still, when all was over I looked through the window of the very same studio and saw a mechanical robin sitting on a fence, singing.

If you could present a show other than your own, which would it be and why?

Serf’s Up, the one showcasing 60s electric balalaika music on Wednesday evenings would be cool. Or, Your Time Starts Now, from 1:17 to 1:44 Friday mornings, featuring only songs lasting less than a minute, could make for an interesting challenge.

What do you do in real life?

Quack